Why Do Women Get Jealous? It’s Always Our Fault, But Is It?

It’s not secret that jealousy if left unchecked can be very dangerous indeed and for many men it has ruined a promising relationship.

When this happens it’s usually something the guy did, at least that’s the most likely reason given. It’s always our fault….. or is it?

Preconditioned in nature

Men and women are preconditioned by years of evolution to be jealous. Why? So we will gravitate to the most fertile mates to keep the species going.

Men typically get jealous when a woman is physically unfaithful to him whereas a woman feels jealousy when it’s emotional.

Men see women as potential mates, we are visual and physical so any transgression that is “hands on” directly challenges us and is seen as a threat and invokes jealousy

Women on the other hand are more nurturing and are on the receiving end of the physical attention, there they are looking to attract a mate so any other rival seen to be chasing “her man” or him moving away from her, losing interest will invoke that same jealous reaction.

Emotional infidelity

This is one of the big triggers for women and it’s important that we guys understand this so we can avoid walking into that open trapdoor and fall into the pit of jealous partner hell.

What constitutes emotional infidelity? Sadly it can be pretty much everything, depending on how highly strung your woman is.

Usually it often involves her feeling like you are betraying her in some way.

Looking at another woman: An innocent glance or smile at another woman can be seen as disloyalty with a woman who lacks self confidence in her ability to keep you safely reigned in.

For us guys it’s usually nothing, especially if we are happily shacked up with our lady but it may be perceived as you looking at “the menu” because you don’t like what you have on your plate right now

Talking with another woman: This can be seen as a cardinal sin as it can be one step higher than just looking. If you make a joke or try to be a bit jovial this can be viewed as flirting and actions will be taken accordingly.

Confiding in another woman: Sharing a secret, a piece of gossip or just some other mundane information will give her cause to go nuclear on you.

This can be considered to be unfaithfulness of the highest degree. The rationale behind it is that you have a partner to talk to already so you don’t need to talk to anyone else let alone another woman.

Signs of jealousy

When you know what to avoid you can make efforts to reduce the impact either by respecting her craziness and removing yourself from female contact altogether, which is not recommended, or you can confront her about it explaining why you are not doing what she thinks you are.

She may then do one of the following:

Lie about it: Pretend it’s all in your head and that you are the one with the issue. She may just dismiss it and say that she never thought that at all. Should she feel the need to lie about it then other effects will be noted too.

Pushing the issue here when you know she is lying will result in a victim attack, where you, the victim, are then accused of implying a falsehood has been committed, that you don’t trust her, why does she need to lie etc. This is designed purely to turn the tables where her bad behavior gets trumped by yours.

Mood change: Mood changes often go hand in hand with lies and/or silence. That moment when she tells you all is well but the pouty faced oppressive silence suggests otherwise.

Pushing here will result in another victim attack where you have now “made her upset” as a result of your probing. The best thing to do here is just let her sulk and mull over the issue, she will eventually realize she is the one at fault.

Testing your jealousy: One of the more egregious ways a woman will behave in reaction to getting jealous of you is to try and make you jealous in return. If you partner tries to do this then I really recommend you walk away from her completely.

Playing tit-for-perceived-tat is both spiteful and destructive. She may be doing it with what she believes are the best intentions but it’s just layering bad behavior over bad (even though your behavior isn’t).

Clingy: If she is really insecure then she may become really clingy to the point of stifling you. She will bombard you with questions like “where are you going?”, “who are you going with?”, “what time are you coming back?”, “who else will be there?”

With a clinger you have a few choices, you can try to reassure them, invite them along or put your foot down at the bad behavior. Putting your foot down may also be seen as guilt so be careful. The best choice is invite her along and if she sees nothing is going on and is bored stiff then she’ll get the point.

Negativity: If she does not lie to you or get clingy or quiet then she may start being negative. Negativity can come in a few forms.

She may make spiteful or nasty comments about the person she thinks you are interested in, calling her names and insulting her clothes and hair. She may do it nearby so the woman can actually hear or just in your earshot so you can enjoy the wrath all to yourself.

She may also start being sarcastic making comments about how the other woman “just happened” to be there or that she “accidentally wore a skimpy outfit.

Fake Illness: Another favorite tactic is to fake an illness just as you are leaving. You have 2 choices here, even if you know it’s fake you would still feel crappy as she would be playing the “you don’t care” card if you left. If you stayed you would feel crappy as you know you have just enabled her and rewarded her bad behavior.

In conclusion:

Finding a woman who is self assured and comfortable with you and that trusts you when speaking to members of the opposite sex is your primary aim but if not then you need to be firm from the outset.

Assure them that you are just talking, nothing more, despite what she thinks, nothing is happening other than a conversation.

If this is an issue and she exhibits signs of jealousy then talking with her can gauge whether it’s to an acceptable degree. If it’s minor and fleeting then you may be able to live with it.

If any interaction with a member of the opposite sex causes her to fly into a rage then she may not be the one for you as exposure to this kind of negativity in your life can cause illnesses and problems down the track