How Can I Be More Optimistic (I Know I Can Tell You :-) )
There are always negative elements in our lives, some minor and some major but what can we do to keep ourselves sailing blissfully through the choppy seas of life
The best way to be more optimistic at the beginning is to surround yourself with as many positives in your life such as:
- People
- Thoughts
- Feelings
- Behaviors
- Things
Also you need to rid yourself of as many negatives as you can.
How can we go about achieving this aim?
Avoid the news
If the news is the first thing you look for in the morning then this has never been a better time to change. Why? How much of the news is positive? Take a minute to guess. 40%? 30% 20? Less?
Of course it’s a good idea to keep abreast of what’s going on in the world but if it comes at the expense of your personal sense of well being then maybe it’s time you watched less news.
Try to cut down slowly if you are addicted. Maybe just scan the headlines that way you get an understanding of what is there and then you can pick and choose what you need to see and then not get dragged down with the rest.
Surround yourself with the right people
I have been eliminating the negative people from my life over the years. At times it can get lonely but that’s fleeting and when compared to being surrounded by the nay sayers who just want to drag the whole world into their own circle of misery it’s a blessed relief.
I often meet negative people but I am firm in my beliefs and even tell them as such. It usually has the effect of brightening them up as they realize their which is a win-win for everyone.
Don’t be afraid of saying to someone that they are being negative and if they cannot be more positive around you then you cannot be friends with them. If they get all huffy and don’t speak to you again then you need to ask yourself how valuable was your friendship to them in the first place if that’s all it took for them to disappear.
When you have done or are doing this, you will find your circle becoming more and more positive and the people inside will be good people worth knowing.
Don’t dwell on the past
Letting go of the past is hard for many people but think about it. Can you change the past? Can negative thoughts like anger, regret or sadness change it? No, it’s just emotional baggage that will drag you down. Even the name suggests a heavy burden of negativity.
Don’t ignore the past either. It’s important to use our past as a learning tool for the future. If you have made mistakes or someone you know has then use that information to avoid making it again.
We cannot forget negatives completely but we can replace the ones we have dealt with and put behind us with new ones to learn from.
Focus on the solution rather than the problem
If you think about life as being a series of brick walls you are going to run into face first then you are not going to have a good time while you are on this planet. If you think of problems as something to be overcome and how you can work towards that aim then you’ll have a happier time of it.
Imagine you are a 25 year old guy with no money, no job and no qualifications. Sounds bad but it’s not. Firstly you are only 25, lucky for you! Secondly you maybe a good looking guy with lots of friends. Nice!
But how to overcome the problems? Well no money is easy, get a job. No qualifications can stop you getting a good job so maybe you will need to get a low paying job and study after work to get those qualifications. Now with good qualifications you can get a better job and start to save. I know I made it sound easier than it actually would be but sometimes there are no shortcuts to get something you want but the good news is that there is a solution.
As you progress through life things will change, you will change. You need to adapt and see life as a series of problems and in turn seeing a list of solutions.
A good example of this, imagine you are fat. This is the problem. The solution? Going to the gym. Now you have more problems. Paying for the gym, spending time getting to and being in the gym.
Now your problem is needing more money and time. Solution? Get up an hour early and work an hour longer at work.
Problem: Less sleep and home later. Solution: Watch less TV and batch cook so you spend less time each day cooking. And on and on and on.
As we do many things to fix our problems so do new problems pop up. Deal with them with a smile as you are creating good problems, problems you can manage rather than bad problems you can’t.
Become a minimalist
Being surrounded by things can feel comforting but they can often feel like a millstone hanging around your neck. If you have ever moved and needed to spend 2 weeks packing, renting the worlds largest moving truck(s) and then another 3 months unpacking then you’ll know it’s not bliss.
Less stuff means less stuff to worry about, which in turn makes your life easier. Especially if you are prone to moving around.
Becoming a minimalist is easy, there are a few stages you can go through.
Stage 1: Looking through your closet and storage spaces. Anything in there that’s not of immense sentimental value ( old board games and toys your children played with when they were young do not count) and you have not touched for more than a year, get rid of. Chances are you will never use them and they actually cost you money in terms of storage space (more stuff needs a bigger and more expensive house to put your stuff in) and any associated moving costs.
Put all the stuff into bags and have a garage sale, or donate it to charity / goodwill or family and/or friends if they want something.
Stage 2: Now you have completed stage 1 you will begin to feel a little anxious but also a bit excited and relived to get rid of your old stuff.
Now the next part is to repeat the process but now think about things you have not touched in the last 3-6 months, this is harder as many things you may sometimes use albeit rarely. If that’s the case hang on it for now, that’s for stage 3.
At this point you may begin to start seeing this as fun. You will begin to feel elated at the though of not being cluttered and may begin to feel the freedom you deserve.
Stage 3: This is the hardest but also the easiest. It’s the easiest emotionally as by now you are in the stage of wanting to get over the finish line and get rid of the last elements holding you back.
Now you need to look at what is left and then decide do you need each item? What does it do? Can you make do without it? What would you do if you didn’t have it to begin with?
Big questions undoubtedly but ones you may want to ask. At this stage, you will need to look at your life and lifestyle, what you do, where you go, and what you need to get through each day comfortably.
Lastly you may actually need to downsize where you live. If you no longer need that spare room for junk and an attic that a family of ten could live in then you could get something smaller and put more money back into your pocket, or better yet a rainy day savings fund.
Sleeping
Sleep is essential for our physical and mental recovery so it’s important we get enough sleep so we can keep healthy.
Waking up and feeling like you are refreshed is also very important for your general feeling of well being, but it can also set your mood for the day. If you have ever had a bad night’s sleep and spent the whole of the following day walking around like a zombie then you’ll understand this.
Feeling well-rested will make the start of your day great and in turn, will make you less vulnerable to the negatives that the day may throw at you.
Exercise
Exercising regularly can make you feel better as it will cause your brain to release various chemicals as a result of the extra exertion, which can make you feel happier, less anxious and more relaxed. This will, therefore, make you feel more optimistic as happiness, calm and relaxation go hand in hand with positive feelings and optimism.
Eating right
Eating the right foods can also make us/keep us feeling more optimistic. Having a healthy balanced diet if good for our bodies. Like exercise a healthy diet contributes to our physical well being and will make us feel better as a result.
Eating too much junk food is detrimental to our levels of optimism. There’s a reason why it’s called comfort food. Eating sugary, fried, or fatty foods will make us feel good at that particular moment but that is usually a result of a trigger like stress or depression.
Once we have ingested these foods then they will work against us, excess sugar raising our insulin levels, high insulin causing excess calories to be stored as fat. Getting fat causing us to feel even unhappier and more stressed. It’s a vicious cycle. What we should do instead of heading for the fast food shops when we feel stressed is get some exercise. It’s more beneficial, cheaper and the benefits are longer lasting than any bar of candy.
In conclusion:
Optimism is a state of mind that some of us need to constantly work on to keep that positive demeanor we all crave. Others have it easier. But the important thing to remember is that when you are optimistic, this will show in your actions and words and will rub off on other people. This will result in the people in your life slowly becoming more optimistic with you, which can’t be bad.
