How Can I Be More Mature – While Keeping Your Inner Child
When it comes to taking on more responsibility in life we need to be able to adopt a more mature outlook. It does not necessarily mean we have to behave like we are 90 but it does mean we need to leave most (but not all) of our young and childish ways behind.
The way to being more mature is to accept responsibility and use it as an anchor to keep you in adulthood. Setting targets and goals you want to achieve and to be more accepting and stoic about the things that happen to you and around you.
Here are the best ways to become more mature gracefully.
Set your goals and dreams
Having an idea of what you want from life is the first step to being more mature. It shows that you want to take on commitments if the form of targets that you want to reach. Things you want to do and how to do them.
This framework will also make you see that if you don’t take on the responsibility of keeping yourself on track then your dreams will never reach fruition.
Once you have your dreams and goals set you can now look at what you need to do to make them happen.
Break your targets into smaller milestones and then you can easy see the closer easier win which will give you the confidence and motivation to keep going.
Don’t blame or make excuses
To “man up” and accept responsibility for your actions is one of the most mature things anyone can do, not just us guys. Being honest can really make you a better person, especially as owning up to your shortcomings will bring self awareness and opportunity for improvement and personal growth.
If you blame others or make excuses for every single aspect of your life that is not going well or went wrong then you will never learn and never improve or get ahead in life.
Not accepting that you alone are responsible for your life on this planet will make you look weak in the eyes of the world.
Look at the following example. 2 guys took an exam and failed. Who do you think will do better in life, A or B ?
A. I failed because my teacher isn’t good enough and he didn’t teach me how to look at the questions properly.
B. I failed because I wasn’t as prepared as I thought. I need to study harder.
If any of you thought A then you would be wrong. The correct choice is B. Sure there is a chance the teacher may not have been thorough enough but who is responsible for studying for the exam?
Accept criticism gracefully
When I say criticism I mean constructive criticism. Regular unconstructive criticism you can put straight into the trash where it belongs, without a second thought.
When people are critical of you, whether it’s of something you have said, done or produced then listen without getting snarky, irritated or sulky.
Usually people criticize when they believe there is room for improvement or to correct a fault. Nobody likes to hear it but everybody should and accept it gracefully. Why? Because it’s free. Sure they are picking fault with something but maybe there is a chance to improve it, thanks to that person.
Imagine you are a chef and every time you make a certain dish people just silently send it back. You change it, nothing happens and the dish keeps coming back. In your frustration you pay to take a course and then learn how to make that dish correctly. See the difference?
If you stop and listen to criticisms you may actually be able to improve or correct something thanks to their input.
Stop complaining about things and other people
Being that guy who is negative and whiny and always moaning or bitching about someone behind their back is not seen by people in a favorable light.
That kind of negativity is seen as being immature and not being able to control your mouth when you are around people.
In your life you can be a powerhouse of optimism or a pathetic bag of moaning.
It’s quite common for negative people to endure the same things that make them annoyed time after time as it appears like they enjoy the act of complaining and bringing everyone’s mood down with them.
Being more positive and understanding about things shows you are a mature thinker who realizes that not everything in life is as we would like it to be but by being the most optimistic about your situation is the most mature way to get through it.
Self control
This is a big part of being mature. You need to be able to exhibit self-control in many aspects of your life. Making goals and sticking to them takes self-control as does remaining positive even when you are not happy about something or being criticized.
Keeping a positive mindset takes discipline. It’s easy to let go and just run your mouth, especially when you are upset but it does not solve anything and can sometimes make things worse.
Self-control with your body takes maturity. People who overeat have no self-control. People who drink too much alcohol or take illicit substances are weak-minded as are people who lay around all day instead of thinking of ways to improve their lot in life.
Acceptance of others and other things
There are many things in our lives that are just beyond our control. There will always be events that happen that can throw a spanner in the workings of the best made plan. When it does you have 2 choices, you can stamp around, kick, scream and cry or you can look at the issue stoically and then try to work out a solution.
Accepting others can be hard, especially when they deliberately try to make your life difficult. If they are family members then you can distance yourself from them to minimize the impact, if you can.
It’s not as easy if you live in the same house. If that’s the case then you can get out of the house or go to a part of the house where you won’t be bothered. If you have problems here you can be mature and try to fix them or make a plan to get out and work on that plan diligently.
If the people are your friends then be honest and tell them their behavior is unacceptable and if they are not willing to change then maybe it’s time you got new friends. No friends are always better than bad friends.
If the people are coworkers then this can be more tricky. Any inappropriate behavior should be reported to HR. If you think they may be unaware of their behavior take them to one side and inform them, if it persists then HR is the way forward.
If it’s just a personality clash then you can be the more mature person and let what they have to say go over your head.
Take it on the chin – embrace your inner child
Sometimes you may make a mistake or do something that makes you look foolish or embarrasses you. The mature thing to do is accept it with a smile. Even if you are absolutely scarlet from embarrassment.
Shouting, stomping off in a huff will just show people you have a stick up your ass and that you have no sense of humor. Laugh along with them and they will respect you for being a good sport.
Other times you may need to lighten the mood by being a bit foolish yourself. Being the willing victim of a joke is hard, self deprecating humor is, but it can work wonders in bringing people together with a few laughs and smiles.
In conclusion:
Being more mature does not mean saying goodbye to fun and happiness. It means you have to allocate those feelings a space alongside other important elements in your life like, progress, achievement, and responsibility.
You can be a happy go lucky guy as long as you don’t shirk the important things in life. You can embrace your inner child but you also need to feed them, nurture them and not allow them to misbehave.
